All The Things We Do Not Know

“The earth is breathing, can you hear it?, it’s waiting for you to go out there and dance to that rhythm. Can you hear it?”

I blinked twice. I was eleven. I strained my ears. I could not hear it.

It sounded absurd to think that the earth could breathe and to think that the rhythm of its breathing could carry me from all the wreckage life would throw at me. At the time, it seemed absurd to think that there was more to life than the planned-out societal routine set out for me from birth. It was absurd and ungrateful to think so. How many others had done this before me? They had never heard the earth breathe, nor danced to its music. Why would I be different?

“Just because those before you have forgotten how to use their wings does not mean you must deliberately clip yours to the side. You weren’t made to walk…fly”

I closed my eyes. I felt the wind sing around my ears. I was thirteen. I could not fly.

I sat on the rooftop, watching the sun peel itself off the surface of the earth. There was so much to know yet so much I could not know. The cigarette in between my fingers released wisps of smoke that danced in the air. They were free so they could dance. To dance, I had to be free.

This was the first thing I did not know on time but better late than never. The world has been carefully designed to depress people so much so that even the existence and life of one person could depress another. There are so many things we do not know and I think that’s enough to keep me till the next morning.

They don’t tell you that at some point, home will not feel like home anymore because you weren’t made to sit in a place and conform. You were made to fly and so you were made to explore.

They don’t tell you that it is okay to love people and not be ashamed of it, so when you laugh with a friend and in that moment, you are truly happy, you would rather keep it to yourself than tell anyone you like it.

They don’t tell you that when you see the sunrise for the first time, it’s okay to write poetry about it because everything is worth immortalizing in art, even you as a person.

They don’t tell you that you will sit on a rooftop, with a cigarette in between your fingers, watching your last sunset and ready to fall off the edge when the dark comes. You will think it’s wrong to feel this way just because you’re tired and want something different.

I learned it doesn’t always have to be bitter or stressful. Sometimes, you don’t even have to think. Sometimes, living in the world should feel like you’re drinking tangy orange juice and it burns your tongue a little but it’s sweet, refreshing and you can’t wait to continue dancing to the earth’s breathing right after.

All you have ever been and all you will ever be will be no more than this one life you have. Perhaps, its time to learn how to dance.